Insider tidbits about my memoir Anything But a Wasted Life First photo (credit: Linda models: anonymous) this is the old “private room”...

Quote of the night: ‘There’s a ten if you make me nut.’ What I love about this statement is its absolute absurdity and the cojones it...

I just danced for a pretty cool guy. And he had money to boot! He owns real estate in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York, which is...

Here are some random thoughts I have while I'm sucking Baby Bird's dick and unloading spit into his mouth: over and over. This is a lot...

My nineteen-year-old niece spent the night in my hotel room recently. She doesn’t have many adults (or even peers) she talks to openly...

When I was a freshman and sophomore in high school I’d go to bars to drink, play pool, and find guys. Bars didn’t card so heavy back...

A girl just asked me what libido means. It’s Halloween and I’m dressed like Barbarella. None of the girls get it. But it doesn’t matter;...

Wednesday in Paris. I was thoroughly exhausted and in pain from the traveling. Craigslist arrived at the hotel from work just as I...

Flip-flops. Really? Who wears flip-flops to a strip club? Don’t these guys realize that all the girls are wearing hospital-inducing...

A new girl just asked me if she smelled like a fucking yeast infection! She scratched her crotch as she did this. If I can smell your...

The nastiest incident from that club happened one weekend night while I was in the “genie bottle.” An unsuspecting, average-looking dude...

After Jacob, I had a short stint with a nightclub owner. He loved that I was a stripper. I was his first, and he acted like he’d won the...

It’s actually kind of amazing how much crap I can put up with for money. My tolerance for dysfunction and bullshit is ridiculously high....

Valentine’s Day at The Bare Elegance. Shit, I’m tired. When are we closing? The last thing in the world I want to do right now is flirt...

My first serious relationship after I got sober was with a man named Ed. I met him at a meeting in San Rafael. Ed was only twenty-three...