Twenty-Minute Man tomorrow morning. Ugh. Who the hell wants anal at 11:30 a.m.? Wait, don’t answer that. Nevermind. Not me, and probably...

The second time I had a snag with a dancer was at the Market Street Cinema. It wasn’t a classic fight; it was a classic looting. Market...

A new girl just asked me if she smelled like a fucking yeast infection! She scratched her crotch as she did this. If I can smell your...

After Jacob, I had a short stint with a nightclub owner. He loved that I was a stripper. I was his first, and he acted like he’d won the...

My first serious relationship after I got sober was with a man named Ed. I met him at a meeting in San Rafael. Ed was only twenty-three...

..on the toilet seat! I hate when women come into the club (or any public bathroom) and pee all over the toilet seat. Do you understand...

Instead, I've perfected dysfunctional relationships with men. In fact, it's how I pay the bills. Insert that whau whau sound, the one...