THERAPIST TO THE STARS

[August 8, 2012]

Psychotherapist to the stars and filthy rich he tells me. Wiry dude in his early forties, wearing a leather jacket in ninety degree weather and he was sort of twitching. Not much was happening in the club so I chatted him up. I could smell money on him and was proven right when he pulled out an impressive wad to pay for a beverage. He said this was his first time in a strip club and was only there to see what his clients were into. Like I give a rat fuck. I talked him into a VIP dance. He was uncomfortable at first and so damn jittery. I'm the one on meth, vodka and Adderall, but I'm like the Dali Lama by comparison. What's this freak on?

The dance was fine. He wanted to talk more than rub. Which was okay with me. I can chat like the dickens. He comes from money, that much was clear. He said his sister was a famous writer. I didn't ask who she was (even though I could tell he was hoping I would). He had extremely antiquated notions of what strippers and clients are. He thinks all strippers are fucked-up trash and all customers are sex-fiend losers (I wondered which one he was). I went into a tirade about how outdated his views were and why. I also clued him into a massive conspiracy...that a lot of the men at the club were waiting for a plane (we're near a major airport), and most of the women were...well, sure, some of us are nuts, but we run the gamut. He wasn't listening. I might as well be talking about a chupacabra: equally as mystical and pontificated upon.

Our three songs were up. He said he was a fan and didn't expect to like it. Yes, sweetie, why do you think there's a strip club on every corner? He surprised me with a good tip and asked if I would sit with him a little longer. I said sure. He was amusing me. He told me his client's have to enter his office from the back because of the paparazzi. Again, I didn't enquire. I was driving him nuts. I don't give a shit about that stuff. Perhaps it was my disinterest that was making him so fidgety? He was dying to be important. Why is it that people who work in the mental health field are always the ones who need it most?